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Electronic Press Kit » Entertainment & Arts
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As a father of 4 and a grandfather of 13, I can totally relate to this lyric, as well as remembering being at that age myself. I've read this through twice, and I gotta say, this is a really really good lyric. I'm having trouble finding something to nitpick, so I'm giving up.My daughter is my babyBut my baby’s now a ladyKiller line, my fav..... But that bridge is very killer. It's worded great and evokes flashbacks to the younger days. The wording is spot on. Top notch lyric Kristi.Kudos
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Les Service likes this.
I think this is a really good lyric, and after reading the other posts, the only other thing I'll add is, that once the music is laid down that's when word or sentence changes will come in, if there need be any. I hold to the idea that the lyricisn't finished until the musics finished. Just my perspective. Good lyric, good writing, and well structured. Very nice work.
I'm Not Ok
Something I put together a few weeks ago. Thoughts and suggestions are very welcomeI'm Not Ok(vs)You blurted it out right out of the blue,the suddenness caught me off guard.I'm a little stunned, wouldn't you be too?That quick, "It's over" is hitting me hard(ch)Am I OK?, Am I OK?Take a good look, do I look that way?You just told me we're throughand that's all you can say?No I'm not OK, I'm not OK(vs)Why walk away after all these years,is a shrug all that I get;a downturned face void of any tears,that mouths a stupid question yet?(ch)Am I OK?, Am I OK?Take a good look, do I look that way?You just told me we're throughand that's all you can say?No I'm not OK, I'm not OK(Bridge)Give me a reason, give me closure todayCause till I get an answer, I will never be OK(ch)Am I OK?, Am I OK?Take a good look, do I look that way?You just told me we're throughand that's all you can say?No I'm not OK, I'm not OK© L. James Tanner
Larry Killam likes this.
Man do I like this, and I sure can relate. Very good write! Tghe things I thought about addressing Kristi has already put forthShe said;"Line 7 of v1: “So he put me back on hold”.That reads to me as a result of what happened before, but with a little tweak of subbing in “And” in place of “So” and in the next line, “Then” (or some other conjunction) in place of “Till” might add to the list of complaints and some exasperation starts to grow."Chorus: last line. You could turn it into a warning to us: “Be prepared to shout” or something like that? It’s speaking from one person’s opinion and he’s getting frustrated. You could also say, “But when I call 1-800” (instead of “you" )... “It makes me wanna shout...”I couldn't have articulated it better...really, I couldn't. :)Regardless, that's all the input I have. This is good stuff and most people will relate. Very nice job
Great work John. It flows great and I love the sentimentality and wording. Since the tense in the first verse is different from the tense in the end, it will throw the lyric off (I didn't see that before) so maybe you can cure that by using "My dad got a 57 Chevrolet" ..If you say drives at the beginning, but later we find out he has passed away, then the listener will wonder how he drives when he's not alive. This change (or one like that) can remedy that. Just my two cents my friend. I've looked it over 3 times now and that's the only snag I see. It's a well done lyric.
Really good write and flow, I enjoyed this immensely.
Really like this lyric, well done indeed.
Good stuff. I dig this lyric a lot. Great descriptions and wording, and flows smoothly. Really nice job
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