Josh
Welcome on board.
You note you want indie, then in my listening to a lot of indie, this is there, the standards of modern writing do not necessarily apply
, in fact in many instances they try to destroy an semblance of a good lyric. If you want to to have great lyric which is still compatable with indie, then the basis of what Wes and Carl have given is good.
For this I will not review the lyric as such, but there is some good imagery and prose within, just too much of everything, way too much.
For mine and many others, a single idea is a song, the shorter and more concise can you make it gives it a greater chance of being understood and followed.
Try to write the story down and if you can get into 2 verses (this is one idea remember) fantastic if you need a bridge to complete the tale that is fine too (a bridge for the sake of a bridge is a mistake). A chorus is designed to be sung by everybody and making this the same throughout helps.
Rhyme, if you use, be prepared to be consistent with it through the verses and be carefull not to do the same lyric pattern in the chorus to help differentiate. Do research on this, where and how you rhyme can create more feeling than the words themselves!
The first write or draft is just that, the song is not complete until you say it is, for many that is many versions later and this is fine.
Good luck
Arty
Welcome on board.
You note you want indie, then in my listening to a lot of indie, this is there, the standards of modern writing do not necessarily apply
, in fact in many instances they try to destroy an semblance of a good lyric. If you want to to have great lyric which is still compatable with indie, then the basis of what Wes and Carl have given is good.
For this I will not review the lyric as such, but there is some good imagery and prose within, just too much of everything, way too much.
For mine and many others, a single idea is a song, the shorter and more concise can you make it gives it a greater chance of being understood and followed.
Try to write the story down and if you can get into 2 verses (this is one idea remember) fantastic if you need a bridge to complete the tale that is fine too (a bridge for the sake of a bridge is a mistake). A chorus is designed to be sung by everybody and making this the same throughout helps.
Rhyme, if you use, be prepared to be consistent with it through the verses and be carefull not to do the same lyric pattern in the chorus to help differentiate. Do research on this, where and how you rhyme can create more feeling than the words themselves!
The first write or draft is just that, the song is not complete until you say it is, for many that is many versions later and this is fine.
Good luck
Arty
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