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Josh Church
#1
Powerful poem...really sad, but flows well regardless. A couple grammatical errors I saw: "grocery story" to "grocery store" and "sense you" to "sinse you", and "I have never lied are..." to "I have never lied or". Sorry I just see those type of things before anything else, hope that helps!

In my opinion, I think it would have read a little smoother if there was a little bit of a stronger rhyme scheme, but that's of course up to your discretion and how the song sounds in your head. Overall though, solid song! If you were looking for any other critiques or a different angle of looking at it, just let me know