Aaron,
I like what you've started here with "Nothing Broken". I'm not a musician but to me this is a bit wordy in certain spots and the meter appears to be off between your verses. Below in blue & purple I've pointed out either wordy spots or what in my humble opinion are weak spots and could be stronger in terms of what is said. Not that it's a no, no but you've used the word "true" or a derivative of it at least 6 times. Too much true makes it blue to me.
There's also a lot of "tell" going on in your lyric, not much show. Is that bad? No, not necessarily. Ultimately music will make or break what is said, but if you're going for country here I think you might need more detail. Any particular genre in mind?
Then below the copy of your lyric (coming up below), I gave an example using your lyric of tightening the meter. Again, only suggestions for you to use or lose, as this is your baby and my thoughts are only one opinion among many I'm sure.
Also - To get others to critique your lyric you might want to review at least two other lyrics. It might then get others to respond or you could even send a personal private message to a few of the other community member's here at the ramp who's opinion you might value. It's a friendly place and I am sure most would be willing to look at what you've written if they haven't seen it already if you ask them privately and directly. Gets their attention.
Again, all suggestions. Keep or sweep.
Carl
Verse1 There are 3 lines in verse 1 and then 4 in verse 2.
I'm holding on to the misconception
That a broken heart will someday mend
So I dance around the truth and tell myself it's all in my head Part of this line could be your 4th line.
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever truly broken
If there's a will then there is a way
With the right set of tools The "tools" sounds too clinical, mechanical and or sterile to me.
I can make the pain go away(repeat)
Verse2
Cowardly it may seem You want people to feel for and or identify with the singer. I would consider removing "cowardly".
to dodge the truth And live a lie
but I'll indulge my oppositions
And tell myself it's all in my mind
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever truly broken
If there's a will then there is a way
With the right set of tools
I can make the pain go away(repeat)
Bridge
If what I believe is true and real
Then there is nothing I can't do
So I'll pick up the pieces and start to heal
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever truly broken
If there's a will then there is a way
With the right set of tools
I can make the pain go away
Nothing Broken
Verse1
Holding on to the misconception
That a broken heart will someday mend
I dance around the truth
And tell myself it's in my head
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever broken
If there's a will, there's a way
With some perseverance
The pain will go away
Verse2
For too long I've been in denial
Dodging what's real and living a lie
Don't know why I still want
The one who leaves me here to cry
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever broken
If there's a will, there's a way
With some perseverance
The pain will go away
Bridge
Need to let go
Even though I still feel
Something deep inside
Oh give me strength to heal
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever broken
If there's a will, there's a way
With some perseverance
The pain will go away
I like what you've started here with "Nothing Broken". I'm not a musician but to me this is a bit wordy in certain spots and the meter appears to be off between your verses. Below in blue & purple I've pointed out either wordy spots or what in my humble opinion are weak spots and could be stronger in terms of what is said. Not that it's a no, no but you've used the word "true" or a derivative of it at least 6 times. Too much true makes it blue to me.
There's also a lot of "tell" going on in your lyric, not much show. Is that bad? No, not necessarily. Ultimately music will make or break what is said, but if you're going for country here I think you might need more detail. Any particular genre in mind?
Then below the copy of your lyric (coming up below), I gave an example using your lyric of tightening the meter. Again, only suggestions for you to use or lose, as this is your baby and my thoughts are only one opinion among many I'm sure.
Also - To get others to critique your lyric you might want to review at least two other lyrics. It might then get others to respond or you could even send a personal private message to a few of the other community member's here at the ramp who's opinion you might value. It's a friendly place and I am sure most would be willing to look at what you've written if they haven't seen it already if you ask them privately and directly. Gets their attention.
Again, all suggestions. Keep or sweep.
Carl
Verse1 There are 3 lines in verse 1 and then 4 in verse 2.
I'm holding on to the misconception
That a broken heart will someday mend
So I dance around the truth and tell myself it's all in my head Part of this line could be your 4th line.
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever truly broken
If there's a will then there is a way
With the right set of tools The "tools" sounds too clinical, mechanical and or sterile to me.
I can make the pain go away(repeat)
Verse2
Cowardly it may seem You want people to feel for and or identify with the singer. I would consider removing "cowardly".
to dodge the truth And live a lie
but I'll indulge my oppositions
And tell myself it's all in my mind
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever truly broken
If there's a will then there is a way
With the right set of tools
I can make the pain go away(repeat)
Bridge
If what I believe is true and real
Then there is nothing I can't do
So I'll pick up the pieces and start to heal
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever truly broken
If there's a will then there is a way
With the right set of tools
I can make the pain go away
Nothing Broken
Verse1
Holding on to the misconception
That a broken heart will someday mend
I dance around the truth
And tell myself it's in my head
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever broken
If there's a will, there's a way
With some perseverance
The pain will go away
Verse2
For too long I've been in denial
Dodging what's real and living a lie
Don't know why I still want
The one who leaves me here to cry
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever broken
If there's a will, there's a way
With some perseverance
The pain will go away
Bridge
Need to let go
Even though I still feel
Something deep inside
Oh give me strength to heal
Chorus
Cause nothing's ever broken
If there's a will, there's a way
With some perseverance
The pain will go away
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