Hey Dog ! Your opinion of my song is the same as my wife's. 
Like I said I got a whole 1/2 hour in it. it started with the Hook/Chorus. I know you know what I'm talking about.
Who's the Daddy?
I hear you about the stove line and bangin the Clown. I need to work on that. I was trying to say she hooked up with the appliance repair man.
If you can help make my point more eloquently, We'll be partners on this 1.
Maybe I should change, He's tasting you to, He's taking you, I'm paying the rent.
And yes I want to sing it. I don't want to do just another she fooled around and broke my heart thang!
I want to be abit abrasive, but do it better than this1st write. Im gonna do it realtime solo, me and the box.
I got some good ideas on the guitar just got to learn to play them smoothly.
This is the 1st tune I have written in over a year. My last was March of 14. It was called Punani. I probably just taught you a new word.
Thanks for the input and write me some lines !
Dan
Edited 6/25
Intro
Livin in love, everything was fine
Had no worries thought you were mine
Then came the day the car broke down
When the tow truck driver came to the house
Behind my back you'se seeing him in
He's takin yo love I'm payin the rent
Was my first taste of playin the fool
You making me crazy this ain't cool
Chorus
Tell me baby don't be lyin
Is it his or is it mine
Oh baby baby why oh why
All I do is cry cry cry
Tell me baby please don't lie edit 6/25
Is it his or is it mine
Instrumental Break
This is where it all unwinds
You sure broke the tie that binds edit 6/25
You and me baby were so tight edit 6/25
Now all we got is fuss and fight
Chorus
Tell me baby don't be lyin
Is it his or is it mine
Oh baby baby why oh why
All I do is cry cry cry
Tell me Baby please don't lie edit 6/25
Is it his or is it mine
Outro
Like I said I got a whole 1/2 hour in it. it started with the Hook/Chorus. I know you know what I'm talking about.
Who's the Daddy?
I hear you about the stove line and bangin the Clown. I need to work on that. I was trying to say she hooked up with the appliance repair man.
If you can help make my point more eloquently, We'll be partners on this 1.
Maybe I should change, He's tasting you to, He's taking you, I'm paying the rent.
And yes I want to sing it. I don't want to do just another she fooled around and broke my heart thang!
I want to be abit abrasive, but do it better than this1st write. Im gonna do it realtime solo, me and the box.
I got some good ideas on the guitar just got to learn to play them smoothly.
This is the 1st tune I have written in over a year. My last was March of 14. It was called Punani. I probably just taught you a new word.
Thanks for the input and write me some lines !
Dan
Edited 6/25
Intro
Livin in love, everything was fine
Had no worries thought you were mine
Then came the day the car broke down
When the tow truck driver came to the house
Behind my back you'se seeing him in
He's takin yo love I'm payin the rent
Was my first taste of playin the fool
You making me crazy this ain't cool
Chorus
Tell me baby don't be lyin
Is it his or is it mine
Oh baby baby why oh why
All I do is cry cry cry
Tell me baby please don't lie edit 6/25
Is it his or is it mine
Instrumental Break
This is where it all unwinds
You sure broke the tie that binds edit 6/25
You and me baby were so tight edit 6/25
Now all we got is fuss and fight
Chorus
Tell me baby don't be lyin
Is it his or is it mine
Oh baby baby why oh why
All I do is cry cry cry
Tell me Baby please don't lie edit 6/25
Is it his or is it mine
Outro
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