IN THE DARK (country)

When the lights, go out---

who are you thinkin of.

Whose on your mind,

when we're makin, love.

I know it's not, me----

and it breaks my heart.

Cause you only love me,

when we're in, the dark.

During the day,

you're never home.

You go off to work,

and I'm all alone.

Even when you're, here,

we never speak,

We share a house,

but you're not livin, with me.

But when the lights go out---,

who are you thinkin of.

Whose on your mind,

when we're makin, love.

I know it's not me---,

and it breaks my heart.

Cause you only love me,

when we're in, the dark.

We used to be---

so much in love.

thought it was forever,

but it was never enough.

Now I'm not the one,

and you;re not the same.

When you talk in your sleep,

I've heard you whisper her name.

And when the lights go out---

who are you thinkin of.

whose on your mind,

when we're makin, love.

I know it's not me---

and it breaks my heart,

Cause you only love me,

when we're in, the dark.

Yeah, you only love me,

when we're in.. the dark. 

Great title and very nice lyric. I'm looking for something to pick apart here and can't find it.  Lol

Ok  nit pick  -     Use of the word "your" in many of the lines   should be  " you're".  Maybe just a typo.  Exceptions - When you talk in your sleep & Whose on your mind.

We use to be ,     We used to be

Otherwise In the Dark is good to go in my thoughts.

Everything you've posted is fairly easy to sing & looks ready for a collaborator to put music to.

Cheers,

Carl

Thanks so much Carl. "Maybe it was a typo," Yeah, sure, a typo. that's it. not because I can't spell for crap, it's a typo, that's the ticket LOL. So after I fix "THE TYPO'S". What do I do with it? I can't sing or play guitar.

Hi, Billie Kay

There are several options for you to chose from in determining how to proceed to find a collaborator here at the ramp.
You can post your lyric or lyrics at the lyric lounge forum which is designed for completed lyrics that are ready for someone to place music to and hope someone will come along and contact you, but that is unlikely, or you can post them in something similar in what I believe is a collaborator's forum also at the ramp which will more than likely get the same results, or you can do what I have recommended to other writers who want people to critique their lyrics when there are no bites. I tell them to contact people directly in a private message here at the ramp.  Tell them what you want and ask them if they will help you . But, before you do that I would become familiar with the site, start talking to people, including a professional in the industry we have on board named Marc Alan Barnette (see MAB forum). Once you've become acquainted with folks, then start directly asking some of them (sending a private message to a member) if they'd be interested in putting music to a lyric you've selected for them, but spend some time checking  profile pages on folks before doing this. (Some members record their own material, others do not).  That's how I would proceed.  Worst anybody can say is no or I'm busy and or they just don't get back to you even after promising to work with you but you never hear from them again. Lol, Most here are friendly and helpful.  But, keep in mind, this is my personal opinion and not that of anyone else at the ramp. In fact, some might even feel differently.
I hope this helps!  : )  Not trying to preach, but you did ask what to do next.  These are only my thoughts as a writer like you.
Again, unlike some of the other sites out there, the ramp is friendly and people are respectful and most will help if they can. 




Carl

Carl, sent you a friend request with a message. I said Marc but I meant OD. It's late, sorry just wanted to clear that up.

Enjoyed da Read I think this one is ready for Da Lyric Lounge.All Da Best with it.

LARRYBOY

Some nice lyrics. She should really lose the guy. Ott

Hi Billie Kay and fellow thread weavers:

In the Dark... is a super title.  I don't usually chime-in on lyrics but I believe you have the beginnings of a super song here. Whatever you do, don't be in a hurry. I don't know if you sing or write melodies but always keep that aspect in mind if you don't. Eventually, someone has to sing the song and "singability" is an important factor.

In the third line of the first verse... would "someone's on your mind" work? I know there are other elements to be "whittled-on" but it is a fantastic start.

Larry and someone else suggested you move this to the collaborators corner. That is up to you but they probably have more knowledge about how the site works than me.

Best of luck with this,  ----Dave

this is pretty good it just needs a bit of attention

one thing  that sticks out for me is the title . when you use it . personal opinion     you should just use in the dark

'cause you only love me

in the dark

which he does not because he speaks someone else's name in his dreams .

just my thoughts

john