Are you in love or something LOL lovely ode to a lover, some really strong writing in this as well
Just some minor things on this, feel L3 in V2, re "something I can't do" doesnt quite ring with me and seems more an attempt to make the ryhme, this is more a function of an extended L1 (which doesnt seem to match the equivilant line in V1)
Know many writers dont like to change a line but if it helps to change the line you were trying to rhyme with, it can assist and take it in a slightly different direction and maybe improve the narrative!
Its a whole new world since you've graced my life
xxxxxx
going home and when I turn into the drive
Yours to do with as you please of course
Arty
Just some minor things on this, feel L3 in V2, re "something I can't do" doesnt quite ring with me and seems more an attempt to make the ryhme, this is more a function of an extended L1 (which doesnt seem to match the equivilant line in V1)
Know many writers dont like to change a line but if it helps to change the line you were trying to rhyme with, it can assist and take it in a slightly different direction and maybe improve the narrative!
Its a whole new world since you've graced my life
xxxxxx
going home and when I turn into the drive
Yours to do with as you please of course
Arty
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