CRYIN IN THE RAIN

• ever since you went, a-way.
• But, I can’t forget the look,
• of your, face.
• I swallow my pride,
• and keep the hurt, inside.
• But all I do... is cry,
• since you said, goodbye----.
•  And gettin over you is like
• cryin in the, rain--
• Tryin like hell to wash away,
• the pain.
• Knowin nothin’s ever gonna be
• the same,
• everytime I hear your name.
• When I think of you , my heart,
• still breaks--
• Tell myself I’m gonna be,
• okay.
• Holdin on...for one more day!
• And there’s nothin left tooo, say---
• Cause, gettin over you is like,
• cryin in the, rain.
• My friends all tell me,
• everything’s gonna be, o-kay.
• I just smile,
• and then i walk, a-way--
• Waitin by my phone,
• hopin that you’ll, call.
• Prayin for the day,
• I won’t think of you, at all!
• Then the tears start to fall.
• and here I go again---
•  And gettin over you is like,
• cryin in the, rain--
• Tryin like hell to wash away,
• the pain.
• Knowin nothin’s ever gonna be
• the same,
• everytime I hear your name.
• When I think of you, my heart,
• still breaks--
• Tell myself I’m gonna be,
• o-kay.
• Holdin on... for one more day!
• And there’s nothin left tooo, say---
• Cause gettin over you is like,
• cryin in the,rain.
• Yeah, gettin over you, is like,
• cryin, in the...rain.

Enjoyed Da Read my friend LOVE IT I'm a suker for Rain Songs.

Thanks Larry.

U welcome Billy

Billie
some interesting writing going on here, the layout is confusing lol

May just suggest that the crying in the rain line is probably a little cliche now and as they keep telling us to try and find new ways to tell to make it fresh.

As a suggestion or what the hell I mean LOL,
When i come in from the rain, the drops still fall until i get to sleep

The other thing to watch to watch are such things as in the early lines you state you keep the hurt inside, this is then contradicted by the rest of song, change or remove, maybe I've tried to...


Be interested to see how it looks like the maker intended!


Arty

I love it. Beautifully written. One thing I will go through and add verses by numbers such as: Vs. 1, Vs, 2 Vs 3 etc. This will make it flow smoother. Dennis

"Rain" is the key word in your rhyme scheme, so it needs to be there.

Some really good lines in this, and I enjoyed the read very much, but it was a little hard to analyze correctly because of the format. It helps to differentiate the verses from the pre chorus and/or chorus by separating them with spaces. Someone else pointed out that your POV changes in the lyric, and with a few tweaks that can be addressed easy. I was thinking maybe "Wiping tears in the rain" to address the cliche trepidation by some, or a line in that vein. It's obvious you have writing skills off the bat, but I think the important thing to make the writing stick out more, would be to first address the format. Great start without a doubt, I look forward to seeing the end product.