L. James Tanner
#0
Hi all, I've been dealing with ongoing medical and life issues and have been away for a spell. I'm just getting back to visiting my forums and interacting more again. This is one I wrote a while back and have been tinkering with ever since. I saw a documentary on the modeling world and this came out. Thoughts and suggestions welcome.

In The Real World


Dressed to the nines in black high heels;
pantomime smile for the camera lens.
Flashes flickering big blue eyes;
backdrop brand new Mercedes Benz

Middle age mogul waiting inside;
chauffeur standing by the open door,
silently sending "hurry ups"
with eyes that spoke those words before

When she gets in her smile will flee
along with her moment of glory

In the real world, she's not real
In the real world, she's just a dream
A fantasy; pure fiction
who's reality's never seen
in the real world.

Laying on a canopy bed
fighting back tears with quivering lips
Cupped hands hiding a shameful face;
skin dug in with her fingertips

Company agent by her side,
sprawled content with a peaceful grin,
contemplates contracts coming up;
near finalized deals to seal again

In the dawn with her dignity
he'll be gone without a pleasantry

In the real world, she's not real
In the real world, she's just a dream
A fantasy; pure fiction
who's reality's never seen
in the real world.

She's lost her joy to be enjoyed
wishing now she was unemployed

In the real world, she's not real
In the real world, she's just a dream
A fantasy; pure fiction
who's reality's never seen
in the real world.

© L. James Tanner
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Carl B
#1
Hey, James

Welcome back. Hope you're doing well.  I like this one. In fact it's one of my favorites from the entries on another site's lyric contest. : )

I like the images. Yes, modeling world is harsh and the things people will do or have to do to get something in return is often beyond one's limit.  I can only imagine.  Only thing I might alter is the last line of the chorus. Do you need it?  Feels, sings with more stability and closure to the chorus if you end it with... "Who's reality's never seen",  but perhaps you had a particular vision or rhythmic flow in mind. To me it sounds better when I sing it  with 4 lines in the chorus instead of 5.

Carl
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L. James Tanner
#2
Hi Carl, thanks for the read and compliment, I appreciate it...Concerning that last line in the chorus, I did in fact have a melody in mind that necessitated that ending, but I do concede it could be edited out if the vocalist deemed it necessary or liked it that way better. From a readers point of view with no music, I can see your point now that I look it over again. Thanks again
Larry Killam
#3
Enjoyed Da Read.Sadly many will relate.Would love to hear it.
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