Primal Man

Primal Man ©LGS2015 

Hi, Les!
Basic instinct? Lol  Kind of funny but it works.


She crossed her legs as she crossed my mind  How bout? ...........  "As she crossed her legs she blew my mind"
Girl already crossed his mind by the time she crossed her legs. Lol  He had his eye on her before hand and that's how I came to the above suggestion. Besides an alternative to using 'crossed'  twice sounds better. IMO

Only thing I might consider changing is the bridge with the 2nd line in particular but that really depends on the audience you're trying to reach. I'm sure a lot of teenage boys would dig the bridge and the 2nd line there but I actually think the bridge could be better. All it tells the audience is what we already can guess is going to happen. Perhaps putting a different angle on it and blending it in to the theme could then really heat things up.

Hi Les, I like the song idea. The one thing I would suggest is changing "seeds" to "seed" as plural sounds like 2 people instead of just you.

Hi Carl
Thanks for the read and comments, I sort of like that line but see your point! You got me thinking and was toying with
She crossed her legs and (she) froze my mind! As in he was frozen in the stare???
LOL! Teenage boys digging it! i think you could be right? Heat it up a bit would work for me!

She was an animal, the kind I like
She rode me as if I was her bike
Oohhhhh! I love women like that
Lol!
You got me thinking bro thanks for that.

Cheers
Les

Hi Larry
Thanks for the read and comment.
Mmmmmm I have to be honest and say I don't see what you are getting at? I'm not being funny here just the line says "Sow "my" seeds" which indicates me as an individual!
Larry I could be and possibly am missing your point! This going to bug me now for quite a while! Lol!

Cheers

Les

Les

all the replies have been good and my one is also in the good bracket . but!  think some of the lines ( as uaual if there is music then it proably works just fine )  are a but long and the same thing could be said , using less words  the crossed her legs line is ok . but could be

she crossed her legs and it blew my mind.

 

she asked if i liked what i saw

then if i wanted to see some more.

only my opinion . but like the story

 

john

Hi John
Thanks for the comments man appreciated.
Yeah I know what your saying less is more, I do have melody in my head but that's pretty much where it'll stay I guess.

I might tweak a little and see if I can record it voice only! Or find some loops that might work!

My latest one is very short on words especially in the chorus! I think you might like it?

Cheers

Les

You do mean "sow my seeds' and "plant my seeds" as humorous? Just wondering.  Ott

Hi Ott
The whole song really is a bit tounge in cheek so yes on the humorus side!
I was trying to present a primal urge without being crude/rude

Cheers

Les

I'd use plant my seeds in all the choruses.  

I like it Les, you nail what makes the world go round

So much to like and works mostly

only suggestion is

Les

Primal Man ©LGS2015

V1

The way she sat she looked so fine

She crossed her legs as she crossed my mind

I caught a glimpse of her underwear

I couldn’t help, couldn’t help but stare

V 2

She saw me looking and smiled at me

Was I that obvious was it that plain to see

She said don’t be shy come sit over here

We sat talking over an ice-cold beer

C

I'm a primal man

I got primal needs

To love a woman

Sow my seeds

There's nothing wrong

With the way I am

I got primal needs

I'm a primal man

V 3

She asked me if I liked what I saw

Said that if I wanted she would show me more

What could I do? I couldn’t say no

The feeling inside was starting to grow

C

I'm a primal man

I got primal needs

To love a woman

Sow my seeds

There's nothing wrong

With the way I am

I got primal needs

I'm a primal man

B

We spent the night doing what felt right

I barely left the confines of hers walls

Yeah we did it! Yeah we did it all!

C

I'm a primal man

I got primal needs

To love a woman

Plant my seeds

There's nothing wrong

With the way I am

I got primal needs

I'm a primal man




Arty

Hi Tracy

So sorry for the late reply, I thought I had done so! Old age lol! 
Yes I think you are right and will change that, thanks for your reply and comment very helpful.

Good luck 

Les

Done.

Hi Arty
thanks for the read and reply.

I did post this on another site (something I rarely do I usually only post one lyric on one site) and the question I asked was does the form work? i did not get any response to the question, I like to experiment with structure to see how it works and this one can work both ways.

Thanks for your comment and I'm glad there's is something to like about it. I do like the 2 verse then 1 version as well.

Cheers

Les

Does it work? ABSOLUTELY I like blew my mind Da Best.Would love to hear Dis one Les.All Da Best my friend

Blimey Larry! I didn't think this one would raise its head again ( a little pun intended lol!)
I have changed that line now and thanks for the read and comment, glad you liked it.
I often wonder about my lyrics floating around in cyberspace and if the old ones ever get read? They obviously do so cheers man.

Good luck

Les