Primal Man

Les

all the replies have been good and my one is also in the good bracket . but!  think some of the lines ( as uaual if there is music then it proably works just fine )  are a but long and the same thing could be said , using less words  the crossed her legs line is ok . but could be

she crossed her legs and it blew my mind.

she asked if i liked what i saw

then if i wanted to see some more.

only my opinion . but like the story

john