Hi Carl,
You're not nitpicking. I like feedback like that. Very helpful.
I agree with you about his age. And that is the purpose of the line...he's likely not all that old but *feels* old, yep. I like your suggestion. But it's funny how one syllable changes the pace a bit, though there's no melody in my head, but maybe...
"But look at me feelin' old" or "But look at me gettin' old"
I'm playing around with it....thanks for drawing attention to that! :) It's also very helpful to know what doesn't work...lol...so I'm glad to know your thoughts on that optional chorus. Objective eyes are so helpful! Appreciate your time going thru it!
Kristi
You're not nitpicking. I like feedback like that. Very helpful.
I agree with you about his age. And that is the purpose of the line...he's likely not all that old but *feels* old, yep. I like your suggestion. But it's funny how one syllable changes the pace a bit, though there's no melody in my head, but maybe...
"But look at me feelin' old" or "But look at me gettin' old"
I'm playing around with it....thanks for drawing attention to that! :) It's also very helpful to know what doesn't work...lol...so I'm glad to know your thoughts on that optional chorus. Objective eyes are so helpful! Appreciate your time going thru it!
Kristi
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