Hi James,
I think you capture the moment of disbelief in what is happening very well. The chorus has a nice flow to it. I can feel the intenseness of emotion there.
I have one suggestion: in the bridge, "give me closure today" might be too far a leap for this person right now. He wants answers, yes, but being able to verbalize closure comes with a certain acceptance of the situation (perhaps?), so since it's all so fresh and new maybe put another demand or heartbreaking visual there...."give me a reason"...before something something.... to convey the shock he's feeling or a fear he's thinking about. Just a thought!
Oh, and cool title....the opposite of the familar phrase.
Good luck with it!
Kristi
I think you capture the moment of disbelief in what is happening very well. The chorus has a nice flow to it. I can feel the intenseness of emotion there.
I have one suggestion: in the bridge, "give me closure today" might be too far a leap for this person right now. He wants answers, yes, but being able to verbalize closure comes with a certain acceptance of the situation (perhaps?), so since it's all so fresh and new maybe put another demand or heartbreaking visual there...."give me a reason"...before something something.... to convey the shock he's feeling or a fear he's thinking about. Just a thought!
Oh, and cool title....the opposite of the familar phrase.
Good luck with it!
Kristi
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