L.James
liked this and the opening was extremely strong.
without nit picking little things which will no doubt will be picked up on the melodising, could I suggest the last line of V1 be changed so you get something like
I'm Not Ok
Shortening a line in the prime spot such as the lead into the chorus can have a dramatic effect - is does not necessarliy have to match in the others verses, it shines the spot light as Pat Pattison would say
Arty
liked this and the opening was extremely strong.
without nit picking little things which will no doubt will be picked up on the melodising, could I suggest the last line of V1 be changed so you get something like
I'm Not Ok
(vs)
You blurted it out right out of the blue,
the suddenness caught me off guard.
I'm a little stunned, wouldn't you be too?
why, why what the...
(ch)
Am I OK?, Am I OK?
Take a good look, do I look that way?
You just told me we're through
and that's all you can say?
No I'm not OK, I'm not OK
Shortening a line in the prime spot such as the lead into the chorus can have a dramatic effect - is does not necessarliy have to match in the others verses, it shines the spot light as Pat Pattison would say
Arty
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