This is the latest version of this song. It is going to various publishers for consideration soon. Commercially recorded by Scott Joyce Music, Nashville, TN.
Copyright protected. All rights reserved.
Ó Copyright David A. Thompson Tel. 785-632-2558 Cell Phone 785-447-2247
2212 Eighth, P.O. Box 461
Clay Center, KS 67432 -0461
Email
To tell the truth ‘bout my Uncle Nick
He lived with us when I was a kid
Nick was an inventor, or so he said
Always brewing up something in a still in the shed
Till late one night that still blew up
Flew across the holler, hit a pickup truck
Singed three dogs, set the woods a’ fire
And folks commenced to bellow like an old church choir--(Refrain)
Uncle Nick is coming
He’ll be here on Christmas Eve
And maybe never leave.
Well, we went to the shed to see what was
Where the still had been was a ball of blue fuzz
We weren’t sure just what it’d do,
But, we took it home, named it “Old Blue.”
Twas ‘bout a week ‘fore the Revenuers came
They’s still a looking for someone to blame
For the dogs and the fire and the pickup truck
Wouldn’t you know it was just dumb luck
That Nick and the fuzz ball we called Blue
Had just gone into town to drink a few
When they got home the family gave ‘em the boot
For painting the town in their birthday suits --( Refrain)
Uncle Nick is coming
He’ll be here on Christmas Eve
And maybe never leave.
So they moved up north, clear up to the pole
‘cause making stills fly’s against Nick’s parole.
He landed a job as genetics engineer
Trying to create taller reindeer
One day in the lab as Nick was standing at the door
He noticed how the deer’s feet no longer touched the floor.
Although taller deer was always his intention
He was awful proud of this new- found invention.
So he rounded up the deer, they went out for a drink
Got so drunk, one deer’s nose went on the blink.
On the way home as they staggered away
They stumbled and fell…learned to fly that way. --( Optional Refrain)
Well Nick was happy as a peach pit stuck in a pear
Until one day with great despair
He awakened to the sound of a terrible noise
Ol’ Blue had learned to eat snow and excrete toys
Toys piled so high the earth began to topple.
Nick went on 60 minutes, Nick talked to Ted Koppel.
He explained to the world this was a terrible threat.
And If the world tips over we all get wet. --( Refrain)
Uncle Nick is coming
He’ll be here on Christmas Eve
And maybe never leave.
Now Nick is a low down lazy cuss,
He’ll only take a toy just as far as he must.
That’s why he slips in your house late at night
Leaves toys ... maybe eats a bite.
If you see a flying sleigh, be scared
Prob’ly Uncle Nick in long underwear.
Him and the deer, sooner or later,
Got to spread them toys down to the equator.
And the last thing I’ll tell you may make you faint
The local church made Nick a saint
For his Christmas (beep or duck call), that Scoundrel and Liar.
Listen.......If you’ve got a big Chimney, you better build a big fire
‘Cause...
Uncle Nick is coming
He’ll be here on Christmas Eve
And maybe, just maybe, he will never leave.