I came up with the title as kind of a joke a couple years back, but a new friend was so enamored of the t-shirt on a recent visit to his home that I was inspired to finish the song.
(One note: the actual slogan is "Makes getting clean as much fun as getting dirty," but I couldn't really make that work. And I'm not sure that I agree.)
©2009 Bob Wire Music
We started out like a house on fire
When I thought we’d hit our peak, she took me higher
Had stars in my eyes, I was head over heels
She stripped my gears and she spun my wheels
I got more lovin’ than any man could require
But the novelty wore off and we started clashin’
No man alive could sustain that kind of passion
I started to feel her slipping away
Afraid I’d get the heave-ho any day
When traded me in for a guy who’s a little more dashin’
Chorus
I’m counting on you, Mr. Bubble
If the flowers don’t melt her heart, maybe the tub’ll
Take us right back to our honeymoon
When we shared that bath in the hotel room
I’m counting on you, Mr. Bubble
So I lit the bathroom with every candle I could find
I surprised her with a dozen roses and a bottle of wine
I filled the tub as hot as she could stand it
In no time at all I was the bubble bath bandit
We were clean as a whistle and feelin’ fine
Chorus
I’m counting on you, Mr. Bubble
If the flowers don’t melt her heart, maybe the tub’ll
Take us right back to our honeymoon
When we shared that bath in the hotel room
I’m counting on you, Mr. Bubble
Now we look forward to our weekly bubble bath connection
She’s willing to risk a urinary tract infection
Now we understand what the slogan means
Gettin’ dirty’s more fun than gettin’ clean
Mr. Bubble always gets us pointed in the right direction
Mr. Bubble always gets us pointed in the right direction