It's good to know creative people. Last year, a friend of mine, the very talented writer Lucie Amundsen, shared a story of her son Milo's run-in with his school's lunch lady. Milo is quite a character, to put it mildly. As you'll see, he wrote the lunch lady a note to voice a complaint. To me, the note had the flavor and attitude of a song. I tossed in a few rhymes, Alex Stangl worked his usual magic, and "Dear Lunch Lady" is the result.
Dear Lunch Lady
Words by Milo Amundsen and Jeff Mondak
Music and performance by Alex Stangl
You always serve us food to eat
There’s mac-and-cheese and mystery meat
There’s cream of this and cream of that
The cans have pictures of a cat
Today it’s chicken cordon bletch
First we eat it, then we wretch
The green beans are a shade of gray
But that’s not what I’m here to say
There’s hair in my burger and hair in my fries
The hair everywhere has lost its surprise
Put a hair net on, put a hair net on!
Come on lady, put a hair net on!
A hair inside my pizza roll!
These follicles, they take a toll
A lunch that’s bald is what I crave
Spaghetti shouldn’t need to shave
I think it’s time to tell your boss
My pudding came with dental floss
Your ladle work’s among the best
Yet still I have this one request
There’s hair in my burger and hair in my fries
The hair everywhere has lost its surprise
Put a hair net on, put a hair net on!
Come on lady, put a hair net on!
We’ve followed you through bobs and perms
I’d rather eat a bowl of worms
There’s me and Sam and Mike and Keith
We all have hair stuck in our teeth
There’s hair in my burger and hair in my fries
The hair everywhere has lost its surprise
Put a hair net on, put a hair net on!
Come on lady, put a hair net on!
Put a hair net on, put a hair net on!
Come on lady, put a hair net on!
And here's Milo's original note.