This poem was written soon after my sons Ryan and Christopher received their black belts in tae kwon do. They went on after that to receive their second-degree black belts. This isn't their favorite poem, as they feel I took a bit too much poetic license with the story. Michael Frazier perfectly captures the feel of the poem with his music.
This poem appears on my CD Nobody Knows Where Our Bus Driver Goes. Click here for more information.
How I Became a Black Belt
Words and recited vocal by Jeff Mondak
Vocal recorded by Alex Stangl
Music by Michael Frazier
A week ago Sunday with weather so warm,
Karate class met in the park.
We practiced our kicks, then we studied our form,
And chopped at the sycamore bark.
I sat and I rested beneath that great tree
While Christopher worked on his stance.
My mind was so focused that I didn't see
The ants marching straight up my pants.
The ants in my britches were biting me there.
The bite marks were starting to swell.
I itched, so I kicked and I clawed at the air,
Then spun as I let out a yell.
I twirled and I jumped with such dizzying speed
While trying to scratch at the bites.
The teachers look on and then quickly agreed
My skills had reached masterful heights.
For twenty-three minutes I pranced without pause.
I shrieked at each itchy red welt.
I finished at last to the Master's applause.
He bowed and he gave me his belt.
Other poems I've recited: