There was a call for songs for Rodney Carrington in 2008 and this is what I came up with, (though this is the first demo of it) Rodney waking up to an infomercial asking him to clean up his act. This write was an exercise in trying to take a double entendre and say a lot without saying it.
Special thanks to Clark Mortensen (Rathole) for making these verses work. I kinda sort of almost had the chorus working, but Clark’s sense of humor and timing and cool guitar made the whole song better. I did the announcer part. Small Packages (Saturday Silly Song)
How’d you like to clean up your act—not work so blue?
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GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES
THAT’S WHAT GUYS WITH SMALL PACKAGES SAY
ORDER MY SMALL PACKAGE AND YOU’LL BE ON YOUR WAY YOUR WORDS HAVE ENTENDRE BUT IT’S THE DOUBLE ONES THAT PAY AND FOR JUST 3 PAYMENTS OF $29 BUCKS YOU CAN PEEK AT MY SMALL PACKAGE TODAY You’ll learn how to mix metaphors,‘cause there’s a thinker in every crowd [Like] “Can you give your heart to Jesus when you butt belongs to MasterCard” You know about morons; we’ll study oxy-morons and more With political humor you’ll make more money than an Elliot Spitzer whore Repeat Chorus Announcer: Call now! Operators are standing by—free shipping—sorry, no COD’s If you’d like a peek at my small package call 1-800-LET ME SEE The Blue No More home study chorus will change your life You’re probably way funnier than you think And for less than $90 we will laugh with you All the way to the bank Repeat Chorus