When opportunity knocks we have to listen. I answered that figurative knock recently to find our lovely and multi-talented geediane beaming in the doorway. She told me of a wondrous project she is currently working on: a calendar. Not just any calendar, no sir. This one features a theme that dovetails perfectly with my warped sense of humor... ready?... road kill! In photographs captured by her unique and talented eye (and with many a curious look from passing motorists, Diane tells me) this 2011 calendar is a must for every home. Well, for mine at least. Perfect gift for weddings, divorces, parole hearings, and other festive occasions. Accompanying this highly artistic work will be a CD of related songs. I was proud to have my song My Dog Ruffles included. But Diane let me know she needed more songs. I dug deeply into my dusty past and remembered a series of humorous pamphlets I wrote and produced, among them Road Kill Cuisine. What are the odds? Rusty sparks flew from my somewhat demented brain and I managed to capture the following tune... on my birthday, no less. Diane will let us know when the calendar project is available, soon from what she tells me. And they say exciting and artistic things don't happen in Ohio. Ha! You go, girl! ROAD KILL CUISINE 6 May 2010 Some say the economy is in pain To us out here it stays the same Get our vittles out on the road Squashed-up kitty or splattered toad CHORUS: Road kill cuisine Road kill cuisine Some are eating high on the hog We are grilling our neighbor's dog It's hard and stiff and kinda scruffy Collar says it's name were Fluffy Couldn't tell if it were dog nor cat We don't worry about things like that CHORUS Scrape it from the blacktop throw it in the pot Got a big family and we need a lot Parts from a cougar and a one-eyed cow Even throw in some spotted owl CHORUS Them juicy eyeballs now don't you gargle Junior needs him a new set of marbles Pick out the fur from between your teeth Or you ain't smooching your sister Jean CHORUS CHORUS OUT